Four Mile House

THE PREAMBLE

It started with a birthday. The birthday was in February but the celebration was in June. The world has been running on a bit of a delay you know. And while a four-month delay isn’t something to be proud of, it was the perfect excuse to get some best friends together and surprise the living hell out of one of your mates on a random Wednesday. When the first part of your day is spent catching a ferry and stringing up plaster bird models in a nature park for the amateur ornithologist you call a friend to find, then what better way to celebrate hanging out together than with a big fat plate of steaming hot ‘CHOS? That’s right, I can’t think of anything better either.

THE PLACE

I’ll be honest; there was zero planning put into the restaurant choice on this one. This place is a five-minute drive from one of my best friend’s houses. I was told it was close, had air conditioning and there was a blueberry beer on the menu that they served cold.

I was halfway down the road before anyone else had shoes on.

This is an old English style pub, complete with a hearth, a stained glass window and slightly warped wooden floors from all the spilled beer absorbed by ‘thee olde briney planks’. If you ever feel like checking them out solo, you won’t feel alone, as there are numerous busts of old sea-faring English explorers to keep a watchful eye over you during your meal.

You can just picture the disappointed England football fans after being eliminated yet again.

On a side note, I always wonder how much the estates of these explorers would make by being involved in decorations. Exploring unknown lands was in the contract, but the colonialism was pretty far-reaching and in almost all those lands there are a number of options to drink at ‘ye olde English pub’. Is there a law that says once a certain number of years go by you can just put up a carving of their face for decoration without paying a dime? Any answers would be accepted warmly.

Back to the establishment: this is an ideal haunt to hole up in a corner with friends, order some beers and rabble on about nothing at all. Also, the blueberry beer was top notch.

TO THE ‘CHOS

These nachos made an IMPACT. They were served on a wooden board and when the server laid them on the table, everyone’s necks pulled back and said, “Damnnn!”

This picture brings a single tear to my eye… So beautiful.

I love nachos that are served on a wide platter. This gives a maximal amount of toppings and none of the dry layers on the bottom. You can tell how fresh they are because the wide platter nachos cool quicker, and these ones were served HOT, DAMN HOT, so hot that the waitress went straight from our table to file an OSHA complaint for being exposed to extreme work conditions. The wide platter is also optimal for sharing because everyone can reach, so five hands was no trouble here.

Condiments-wise, there was a small glass dish of salsa and sour cream on the side. Thankfully you could get extra of both for no extra charge. Personally I like mine on the nachos, but when you have five people, not everyone does so this lets every person do their own thing. There still could have been more volume but I’m a guy who could eat half a tub of sour cream at a time so I accept this isn’t an issue for anyone except sour cream addicts like myself. FFOB.

The toppings were classic. I’m a sucker for black olives and there were a whole bunch on there. (If anyone ever asks if you want GREEN olives on nachos, you shake your head like THIS.) The amount of cheese wasn’t too little to be dry and it wasn’t too much to leave the chips soggy. The chips were light with crunch, the chicken was cubed to a perfect size, and the whole damn thing tasted great.

To great nachos and even better friends. Hats off to a great platter.

RATING:

  • Overall: 18/20
  • Taste: 4.5/5
  • Presentation: 5/5
  • Mouthfeel: 4.5/5
  • Toppings: 4/5

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