Breaking down the system.

The Scoring Criteria

Taste: the big kicker. Are those taste buds jumping for joy, or crying out because they just want to FEEL? 

Presentation: there’s a difference between pig slop and artistic, homestyle and overly deconstructed.

Mouthfeel: this is defined by Google as “the physical sensations in the mouth produced by a particular food”. Example: “this Cabernet has a dense, tightly woven mouthfeel, with complex, chewy, and velvety tannins”.
(There is a clear reason why I review nachos and not wine.)

Toppings: points are given for creativity (sticking with the classics, or trying new things), distribution (just a top layer, or turtles all the way down), and quality (how old is this).

Total/Venti: out of 20.

Venti is twenty.